Key Moments to Ditch Your Phone

We all do it.

We all have been there.

We have a quiet moment, a sweet moment, an opportunity to be present with someone or present with our own thoughts. 

But instead, we reach for the phone. It feels so automatic, so natural. Just like reaching for a drink or scratching an itch.

Here’s a common situation, which we all have been a part of. You go out to eat with others. You sit and order your food, maybe discuss the menu for a few seconds. Then while you wait for your food…..everyone gets their phones out. Someone is scrolling TikTok, another is checking email, one person is playing Block Blast. A video might be texted from one person to another with a giggle. Other than that- silence. 

Every single day we experience many moments like this. Some of the differences are obvious: Kids used to play together outside for hours instead of online from separate houses. People would call to say they were leaving the house and not have any contact until they saw each other at the agreed-upon destination. Meals would be made from grandma’s worn-out handwritten recipe card instead of from a stranger’s blog on the Nest on the kitchen counter. 

But what are the “smaller,” more subtle contrasts, and how might they be making a big impact? After all, there are things we do so automatically that they just seem normal. And what are small changes we can make now if big lifestyle changes or family routine shake-ups seem too much to jump straight into? 

Here are some easy but important moments to use as “screen free” time, and the quality that can be added to your life as a result.

The Bathroom

I know, I know. What are you supposed to do while you sit there, for Pete’s sake? Answer: just sit there. 

We live in a day and age where stimulation and input are constant. We always have someone else’s opinion in our ear, or we’re hearing about some piece of news from across the globe, or we just have to catch up on Instagram reels. This stimulation can quickly have negative effects on the nervous system and mood, and get us out of touch with our own emotions and thoughts. The all-too-frequent cheap dopamine hits from scrolling has been shown to have adverse effects on mental health and brain function. Silence and boredom are also the fertile soil for creativity to take root. Yet daydreaming has been replaced by passive consumption of other people’s ideas and creations.

So the benefits of keeping the bathroom screen-free are the opposite of those negatives. Sitting in silence is how we explore our own thoughts. Simply noticing where our minds wander when we are bored tells us a lot about ourselves and the state of our lives. How else are we supposed to begin to work through challenges in a healthy way if we don’t even have that base? Do you even understand your own emotions, really? We can not learn to calm our nervous system if we are constantly stimulating it with various inputs.

Stillness is also where creativity starts! It’s pretty hard to be truly creative when we are always and only consuming other peoples’ creative hard work. 

Plus, have you ever spent far more time in the bathroom than necessary because you were caught up on your phone? Let’s not forget that we have a life to live and a family to enjoy that is on the other side of that door! The time you would otherwise spend playing solitaire or online shopping could be spent with the people you love most, improving the quality of your relationships and making important memories.

The Table

Mealtimes should be more of an event than we have made them over time. We are used to eating while watching TV, eating while driving, eating while literally having a phone in the other hand. This is not good for digestion, among the social and emotional aspects. 

Our bodies can’t be in “fight or flight” and digest properly at the same time. If we are watching something exciting, angering, suspenseful while eating the body is not digesting. If we come to the table already antsy to get back to our show, or we are driving in the car, we are putting food in our mouths while the sympathetic nervous system is activated. 

The alternative is to put our bodies in “rest and digest” and to choose connection with those at the table with us (when applicable). Before starting to eat, take a few deep breaths to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Smell the food, chew slowly, and really notice the flavors and textures so that the digestive system starts doing it’s work from the very beginning (the nose). When we really focus on our food, we truly enjoy it more, and we actually eat more appropriate amounts, rather than unknowingly overconsuming. 

And of course be present with the people at the table with us. Again, connection and conversation with the people that we choose to have in our lives, at our tables, in the first place is far more important than anything on social media, amazon, or netflix. Sometimes the dinner table is the only opportunity in the day to have a meaningful conversation with someone important in our lives, so don’t opt out of that moment.

Bed-Bedtime and Morning

The way that we fall asleep and wake up are paramount to how the rest of our day and night of sleep go. When we are looking at screens shortly before bed, plenty of studies show that the quality of sleep is negatively impacted. Of course consuming upsetting media makes it harder to sleep; but no matter what the subject we are consuming, the artificial lights and constant dopamine hits interrupt our circadian rhythms. Even youths in our society are getting far less sleep than their growing bodies require due to screen usage.

Studies also show the differences in our bodies between waking up and immediately reaching for a phone versus immediately getting natural sunlight. Natural sunlight before artificial lights in our eyes is important for supporting the circadian rhythm of our sleep, hormone, and immune systems. On the contrary, looking at the news, checking email, or scrolling social media immediately activates the nervous system and feeds the dopamine addiction cycle.

So here is a good routine: put away all screens at least one hour before you plan to be in bed. Dim the lights or go outside (if weather and seasons permit). Read a book, do something interactive with the people around you, end your day with journaling, do some yoga,.... There are so many calming ways to end your day! When you wake up in the morning, make a cup of warm lemon water and drink it outside in the rising sun. Get in a work out, do some journaling, meditate, sit with other family members who are also awake. There are so many healthy morning routines that do not include a screen!

If reducing screen usage in your life is something that you want, but it seems daunting or overwhelming, these are three places to easily start. Once you make these habit changes, bigger changes will seem less intimidating. And even if these are the only changes you make, you will quickly feel the benefits to your mental health and quality of relationships!